Happy Fathers Day

 

 

Hey Dad.

Happy Fathers Day.

I want you to know that I love you so very much.

You have always sought to protect me while trying to prepare myself for being an adult.

You know, when talking to people about their home loans and the importance of paying them off, I would always refer to you, and the great lesson you taught me about debt.

You are the hardest worker i know. But you have always seemed to be able to balance it with your family. I hope I can be the dad you are to me.

When life turned on me, you have been there for me. All the nights that I called you up crying about how bad my life was. How I felt trapped by my marriage and my own demons. You helped give me hope when I had none. I remember you telling me it was going to get better.

And you know what?

It is better.

I found God. You helped. Even though I thought I had it all figured out. That God had cursed me. You kept telling me that I was strong. I was wrong about God…everything I thought about Him. He made me strong. And you were telling me all along that I was strong. That I was going to make it. You kept saying it, even though I didn’t really believe it.

Hope is so strong, and you never lost hope in me. I know you love me, and I feel that and am not discounting it. But your gift of hope for me saved my life.

Thank you daddy. I remember you always used to introduce me to your friends, “This is my boy.” I loved that. I love you dad. More than I could ever express.

Your boy…

Ruben Kelly Ramon

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Friends

On my journey that is my life, I have encountered something wonderful.

Friends.

Family is great, but that isn’t the focus of this blog. I have a small group of people who I consider true friends. People who I trust completely when I tell them something.

These people have been there for me to cry to as I explore my wounds. As I heal. As I discover what my wounds are…the painful process of opening them up…one by one…letting the poison out.

These are people I met while trying to rebuild my life. They saw value in me when I felt like I didn’t have any. Those are people you need in your life. That’s what a true friend is.

I used to lay in bed at night, and cry cause other than my sister and parents, I honestly felt like nobody loved me. I’d yell at God, asking him why nobody loved me. What was my problem? I had nobody to turn to. Nobody to tell what was really happening in my life. Nobody to tell me with a firm voice, and a loving voice, what my problem was.

I covered it all up. But I was only fooling my self. My soul was dead. I no longer wanted to live.

But then I found a friend. My friend saw value where I found none.

I found out what love is. Love between friends. I’ve never felt that before. Maybe I did, but I simply forgot. I had friend after friend abandon me because of my living situation. Well, maybe they weren’t friends.

I realized last week, that I no longer cry out to God about being lonely. No, I don’t have many friends.

You know if I count you as a friend.

I want you to know that I love you.

Thank you for realizing that I have a life worth living now, and a future that I am finally looking forward to.